47% ‘keeping money stash secret from partner’
Nearly half (47%) of people in a relationship are keeping a secret money stash that their partner is unaware of – but nearly the same proportion (45%) believe they know everything about their partner’s money situation, a survey has found.
Of those who have secret accounts, the average amount saved was £6,495, with those aged 55 and over having nearly £12,500 put away, according to the research published by Aviva.
Some people said they have a secret money stash to pay for a holiday or a surprise gift for their partner, the survey found.
But others said they want to treat themselves and spend without their partner knowing, according to the survey carried out by Censuswide in February among 2,000 people who are married, in a civil partnership, or in a relationship where neither applies.
Some also said they wanted to conceal funds to keep some control and independence and avoid feeling stuck or trapped.
More than a quarter (27%) have secret savings in case their relationship breaks down, and 15% are looking to pay off debts without their partner knowing.
More than a third (35%) of couples find themselves arguing about money more than once a month, and a fifth (20%) argue once a week or more, with spending habits being the most common root cause of rows.
A fifth (19%) of people surveyed think being ungenerous with money is a red flag, but a similar proportion (17%) said they are put off when someone is “flashing the cash”.
A third (34%) of people said they only talk about money with their partner once a month or less, while one in 20 (5%) never discuss money with their partner.
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Alistair McQueen, head of savings and retirement at Aviva, said: “Money can be a tricky topic to bring up with your partner, and it can be a source of conflict, especially if you have savings or debts that your partner isn’t aware of.
“However, having honest conversations about money is important, as our research shows we may not know as much as we think we do about our partner’s finances.
“It is great that people are saving up to treat their loved ones as a surprise.
“However, when it comes to the big decisions, whether it’s buying your first home, starting a family, or even getting ready to retire, it’s important to be on the same page as your partner.”
Here are some tips from Aviva for dealing with money in a relationship:
1. Have open conversations about finances.
This can stop financial secrets causing conflict. Regularly talking about your income, spending, savings, and debts will help to get you and your partner on the same page.
2. Set joint goals.
Big financial decisions are often made as a couple, not individually. Make sure you know your partner’s priorities and tell them your future goals. These could be short-term goals, such as a holiday or buying a new car, or long-term ambitions, such as buying a house or saving for retirement.
3. Talk about income and spending.
Having a clear idea of who is paying for what could help to avoid potential rows.
4. Prepare for the tough times.
Some couples may consider setting up a joint contingency fund in case of illness, redundancy, or an unexpected expense. Also, check you have an up-to-date will and make sure your pension, health and life insurance policy beneficiaries are up to date.
5. Plan ahead.
Once you and your partner are clear on where you stand financially, online tools can help with future plans, such as investment or retirement calculators.
