Marriage rates in the US have been declining since 2011with more adults choosing to build a life with a partner without getting married. Over the past 30 years, the number of unmarried US adults cohabiting in a relationship has more than doubled. Yet the laws governing our finances in the US are still skewed to benefit married couples.

My partner, Stefan, and I are part of that trend. At 41 and 38, respectively, Stefan and I have lived together for 14 years and have no intention of marrying. Over the years, we’ve bumped up against a system that doesn’t know what to do with our relationship status — like the time we had to provide a notarized affidavit confirming our relationship status to enroll him in my employer’s health insurance planwhile my married coworkers didn’t experience the same hurdles.

In 2023, we bought our first house together. As time goes on, we’ve had to think more and more about how we’re managing money and ownership of assets. Much of what’s assumed for married couples isn’t as simple for unmarried partners, so we have to be intentional about our financial plans.

I spoke with a few experts to get their tips on the best way for couples to navigate managing money when they’re unmarried.

📋 Create a plan for daily expenses

The first thing any couple has to decide is whether to merge their finances or keep them separate. You can do either regardless of your marital status, but being unmarried makes it easier to keep your finances totally separate if you want to.

Stefan and I merged some of our finances shortly after moving in together. We share a single bank account that we use to get paid and to pay all of our bills. We’re also both self-employed and have business finances we manage separately, which lets us maintain some financial independence.

“You may not want to merge everything,” said Melody Evans, a financial advisor and CFP of retirement company TIAA. “I recommend couples keep one bank account separate for each of them.”

Keeping all or some of your finances separate could protect you in case the relationship ends. That’s broadly true for married couples, too, but an unmarried couple doesn’t have the aid of a divorce decree to split assets if you separate. Delineating ownership throughout the relationship could help you avoid legal headaches down the line.

💰Talk about your debt

“The biggest challenge [for couples] is deciding how to handle shared finances without tying yourself too closely to someone else’s debts,” said Ned Priestly, CEO at lender MQL.

As you consider how you’ll manage day-to-day spending and household costs together, talk candidly about debts, too. If either of you bring loans or credit card debt into the household, how much will you tackle it together? Do you prefer to let debts remain individual liabilities? How will that impact whether and how you combine finances?

“For unmarried couples, clarity is key,” said Priestly. “Lay everything out on the table early and set agreements about who pays for what. … Transparency is nonnegotiable.”

🏠 Explore home ownership options

Depending on where you live, assets you acquire while married, like if you buy a homemight automatically be co-owned, so a spouse will maintain ownership of them if the other dies. The same logic doesn’t always apply if you’re unmarried, so pay attention to the contracts you sign when making a big purchase, like a home.

My partner and I co-own our house as “joint tenants,” which means we each own a 50% interest in the property, and we each have a right of survivorship — i.e., if one of us dies, their interest automatically transfers to the other. You could also set up your co-ownership of a property as “tenants in common,” where you can split the interest in the property any way you want, and there’s no right of survivorship. In that case, if someone dies, their interest in the property goes to their heirs.

The right of survivorship is a benefit of joint tenancy, but the designation could also present challenges. For example, if the relationship ends before someone dies, joint tenancy could make it difficult to split the property. Under a tenancy in common, one owner can force a sale of the property (to the other owner or to an outside buyer) to get out of the relationship with their interest intact.

Alternatively, you could let one partner own a shared home while the other pays rent or otherwise contributes to the household. Just consider how you’d handle ownership if the homeowner were to die first. The partner who is “renting” wouldn’t automatically have a claim to the home, no matter how long they’ve lived there. They also won’t build wealth through the home’s equity, which puts them at a disadvantage, especially if the relationship ends.

💵 Talk to an accountant ahead of tax season

Married partners have the option to file taxes jointly. Filing taxes jointly gives a couple access to higher tax deductions and income limits, often double or more those of single filers, even if only one spouse earns income for the household.

For years, I was the sole earner in our household. Even though I was paying nearly 100% of our expenses, I couldn’t claim my partner as a dependent for tax purposes (an option we lost after the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act). I had to file as single, and we were penalized with lower deductions and income limits than married couples in the same situation.

This is less of an issue for unmarried couples if you both earn income and contribute equally to household expenses, but there are still some differences.

“Our tax code is much more generous for married couples than unmarried couples,” said Evans. “An unmarried couple should be very conscious of how their individual financial decisions will hit their individual tax forms.”

Short of getting married just for the tax breaks (not advisable!), you can’t do much to change your tax status. But talking to an accountant about your financial circumstances before April 15  can help you plan ahead for any tax breaks you may be eligible to claim, especially if you have kids in the household. You might find advantageous ways to split household costs and asset ownership, for example.

✅ Establish a comprehensive estate plan

An estate plan lets you determine how your assets will be handled once you die or are no longer able to make financial decisions. It’s important to set up an estate plan whether you’re married, in an unmarried partnership or single.

“Estate planning is a really powerful tool … to shape our future and our legacy however we want,” said Noelle McEntee, co-founder of the inclusive online estate planning service Legacy.

An estate plan is more comprehensive than a will. Your estate plan might include a will but would also include plans for handling your affairs if you’re alive but unable to manage them. A solid estate plan lets a couple shape their financial futures and legacies, said McEntee.

There are a variety of estate planning documents you might decide to create, but McEntee most recommends one called a revocable living trust. This puts your assets — like property, savings, retirement accounts and life insurance — into a trust with a trustee designated to control it. It also names beneficiaries, just like a will does, to inherit the contents of the trust.

Unlike a will, a trust doesn’t become public, and it doesn’t go through probate after your death. This is particularly important to protect the wishes of unmarried partners whose relatives might attempt to usurp a surviving partner’s role in the estate.

Unmarried partners can also grant each other financial and medical power of attorney to ensure they can make financial and health care decisions for each other as needed. Without those designations, those powers could fall to a next of kin who might not be familiar with your wishes.

All couples should consult estate planning attorneys to determine the best plan for them. Those of us without the legal protections of marriage should seek counsel from a firm that’s inclusive of our status and doesn’t default to the traditional “husband” and “wife” terminology that’s common in the industry.